About a week ago, Travis and I were working late nights to finish one of our biggest editing projects to date. It was so heavy that Travis had me assist him with a few things. It wasn’t necessarily heavy mechanically; the subject matter was truly very sobering.
We connected with a potential McGruder relative who already published a nonfiction book about a McGruder ancestor and was now writing the somewhat fictional novelization to reach other readers. The central figure, Charles McGruder, was born into slavery and used for breeding other slaves. With each chapter, I kept thinking, This is already so sick and wrong. How worse could it be? And it would worsen.
It hit me like a comet that Charles was punished for even wanting to read. And here we are—his ancestors are writing and polishing his story. We get to hear about his experiences and how he probably felt about them. And to best honor his story, this book does not hold back or give the reader an opportunity to look away. The pain and suffering and terrible deeds are not reduced for modern readers. Why should white readers like me be comfortable and comforted?
That idea of who should be comforted has been circling my head during Banned Book Week. Many of the stories that are banned aren’t on the chopping block because they are inappropriate or inappropriately rated. The people who ban books are uncomfortable with the realities therein.
Does shielding children from history actually serve them?
As a 3rd grader, I remember learning more about how early white, European settlers actually treated Native Americans and the Black people they enslaved. The diagrams of how slave traders lined up human bodies to fit into ships like Legos still linger.
I remembered feeling sad but also angry. Why do people treat each other like that? And why would I be lied to as a child about these events? Lies like “slavery wasn’t that bad” or “Indians and white settlers were actually friends.” It’s one thing to omit history but it’s another to rewrite it to make white people feel better.
Once we learn the truth and reality, it only feels worse. Like, I felt stupid. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I think I’m drawn to writing “happily ever afters” because there’s something beautiful about guaranteeing a happy future to someone who’s endured the worst. There are so many real people who never live to see justice served.
And that’s why, when I married Travis in 2014, I wanted to truly open myself up to books, podcasts, etc. to combat my ignorance. Plainly put, my goal was to not be the last one to know about racism and how it affects Travis and our future kids. That of course blossomed to how sexism affects me and how homophobia affects my friends and loved ones.
As I reflect on a decade of learning and listening, it’s clear that the majority of people want accountability. For decades, we’ve swept horrors and negative feelings under the rug. I’m really proud of those of you who are refusing to continue the game of Hot Potato and instead are unpacking history and associated emotions. Because we can’t heal from anything if we ignore everything.
If you’re like me and you’re “catching up” on your own country’s history and actions, you can be part of the solution by being accountable. This does not mean that you and I are responsible for the misdeeds and misbehaviors of others.
To me, accountability means analyzing how history and white privilege has shaped my life. Sometimes, it means doing the work of educating myself so I don’t draw too much emotional labor from others. But most times, it means sitting in discomfort and not “letting people off the hook” who would rather do anything than acknowledge the ways they affect others.
We’ve all done or said things we’re not proud of. Accountability is one of the first steps to doing better and being better, as Maya Angelou taught us. Some things require a public acknowledgment but a lot of things need mental or private reflection.
Remember, there’s a reason why certain books are being banned in places of learning. People would rather you be ignorant and uneducated than sit in uncomfortable truths. I’m not going to let that happen. History will continue to be heavy and dark unless we hold it up to the light and fully acknowledge it for what it is.
So instead of running away from past mistakes, let’s listen, read, and reflect. In the midst of reading books to escape reality, I encourage you to add some books that will crack open your worldview. And if you’re ready to take it a step further, I urge you to protect the right to read in your community.
If you want to learn more about combatting book bans, I recommend these resources and ideas:
- Chat with your local librarians and booksellers.
- Write books that would probably get banned because your ideas are so badass.
- Read “14 Ideas for Celebrating Banned Books Week” via GoodGoodGood
- Check out Pen America
- Visit Unite Against Book Bans
Thank you for being an incredible part of this bookish community. Continue to fight for your right to read! Feel free to leave a comment on your favorite ways to combat book bans or some of your favorite challenged titles.
Wow, Whitney, this is a powerful and thought-provoking post. Thank you so much for sharing this.
I’m happy to share. Thank you for giving it a read!