Time for another Weekend Writing Warriors snippet. Every Sunday, I join a bunch of writers through a blog hop and post an 8-10 sentence snippet of my current project. You can click on the link to see what everyone else is up to.
This week was another blessed hack-and-slash session in regards to my novel. There’s something exciting about finally cutting out useless scenes that don’t further the plot and replacing them with things that do. Decluttering at its finest. So in a way, this snippet represents the surviving parts that I kept this week.
At this point, Ilsi’s objective is to find Giselle, who is so old and powerful, no one really knows the extent of her abilities; they just feel like having someone like that on their side is better than having her for an enemy. Ilsi tries to encourage her to see things her way, and we see Giselle’s friendly and grandma-like facade finally crack away a bit.
“It’s funny you’re asking an old lady like me to be a soldier,” Giselle shook her head and laughed.
“I’m asking if you’re willing to be an ally,” Ilsi explained. “We really need your help if we’re ever going to win this war.”
“Whatever it is you think you need from me, it won’t be enough.”
“But they threatened to find you,” Ilsi emphasized. “Why let them win and terrorize and—”
“Because I’m tired of fighting other people’s battles!” Giselle roared, spitting harshly. After Giselle coughed harshly for a bit and wiped her lips with her sleeve, she rattled, “If you want to fight Ladala’s fight, I can’t stop you, dear child. But I’m done. I’ve done enough fighting.”
Check out other snippets here. You can also learn more about the novel, Destiny Seeker, here. Don’t forget to comment below if you’ve got a snippet to share as well! Compliments and constructive insight are equally welcome.
10 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 27”
I don’t know the context, of course, but the idea here reminds me a bit of the science fiction novel, “Old Man’s War” by John Scalzi.
Took me exactly one sentence to like Giselle. Really liked this snippet! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Giselle sounds like an awesome character with lots of life still in her.
Isn’t it nice when your story becomes so clear to you it’s a relief to cut away everything that doesn’t belong?
Seriously, amen to that. Before it used to be “my book is considered good if it’s long.” Now it’s, “my book is good if it gets to the point and make sense.” 🙂
This is a great excerpt! I like that Giselle doesn’t give in. Makes things a bit harder for Ilsi’s side, and that’s good for the story. Maybe we’ll hear from Giselle again though. That would be cool too.
Could I make a suggestion? You have “harshly” twice very close together, and I’m thinking changing one of them would make the paragraph have a bit more impact. I do enjoy your writing, Whitney.
I greatly appreciate the feedback! Repetitive words or phrases are things I tend to miss during an edit, so I’m glad you pointed it out. 🙂
She does sound unhealthy, but I suspect she’s got some fight in her yet.
Interesting excerpt. I find it realistic that the old woman doesn’t want to fight any more battles for other people. So can they make it important to her somehow? Well done snippet!
Right? Volunteering to be the muscle of someone’s victory has to come with some kind of reward. I see Giselle as someone who’s done a lot of thankless service to other people and is finally sick of it. Thanks for your comment!
Wow…I can sense the tension in the conversation. Great choice of words and awesome writing!!