Time for another Weekend Writing Warriors snippet. Every Sunday, I join a bunch of writers through a blog hop and post an 8-10 sentence snippet of my current project. You can click on the link to see what everyone else is up to.
This week, it’s dream/flashback time! There’s a huge event that happens while Ilsi is only 5 years old; she remembers bits and pieces but really only relies on what the adults in her life tell her. This snippet is part of a dream segment that gives her the perspective that no one alive really had.
Her mother ran hard and fast. Ilsi ran along with her mother, and suddenly saw herself again; the young version of herself. Ilsi cried with Helene in unison,
“Ilsi, it is happening!”
Ilsi ran to the small version of herself to comfort the girl. She couldn’t remember if she was herself, the small one, or the mother, but at that moment she was holding the little girl and rubbing her stiff hands against the two small bare feet.
Helene came running, but the wall shot up a few inches in front of where she stood. As Ilsi watched the Wall shoot up the sky, she held the little girl and shivered. Her eyes circled about and saw a world that she grew used to; a world full of ice and cold.
Check out other snippets here. You can also learn more about the novel, Destiny Seeker here. Don’t forget to comment below if you’ve got a snippet to share as well! Compliments and constructive insight are equally welcome—dream/vision scenes are kinda hard because they’re kinda trippy, so if you have advice on how to not make it cheesy, I’m all ears.
8 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 25”
There are some weird and interesting happenings going on here!
Well it reads great to me – hard to offer truly constructive advice when you only see bits and pieces. But I can visualize what’s happening and also get a sense that Ilsi is confused. In this small piece of the scene, what seems to be lacking (to me) perhaps is a wider sense of what else Ilsi must be feeling – but I’m supposing that’s included elsewhere in the scene.
Yeah, it’s hard to summarize a whole dream sequence in 8 sentences, so thanks for hanging in there. 😉 But I see what you mean by missing what Ilsi is feeling. I’ll be sure to make that a bit clear in the sequence so readers can see the value of the dream itself.
Well done building up the tension.
Fascinating snippet. I think you capture the essence of a dream beautifully.
Thanks, I appreciate it. 🙂
Very telling scene, Wit. This is the world that Ilso grew up in–it really makes me want to know more! Good 8!
Thank you so much! 🙂