Time for another Weekend Writing Warriors snippet. Every Sunday, I join a bunch of writers through a blog hop and post an 8-10 sentence snippet of my current project. You can click on the link to see what everyone else is up to.
Last week, Princess Karachi escaped her gilded cage, thanks to a few soldiers from Ladala. However, it seems as though it’s not entirely out of the goodness of their hearts.
“Oh, help me off this beast!” Karachi called out impatiently. Deidre patiently but quickly helped her down. All the others alighted off the beast’s back, as Roan tried to coax the beast to rest and calm down.
“What are we doing back in my kingdom?” Karachi inquired.
“We have strict orders to deliver a decoy,” Liselotte answered. They all crouched behind the dragon’s tail to get a good look at a small, simple cottage and a large lake in their way.
“We’re going to terrorize peasants?” Karachi asked, inching higher to get a better look.
“No, we’re not terrorizing peasants. Just follow us.”
Check out other snippets here. You can also learn more about the novel, Destiny Seeker, here. Don’t forget to comment below if you’ve got a snippet to share as well! Compliments and constructive insight are equally welcome.
Okay . . . I’m curious! Dialogue crisp and entertaining. Nice scene!
Great snippet. I am curious to find out what they are doing there.
Great snippet. I look forward to finding out what they are doing there.
Deliver a decoy, eh? That’s intriguing! Hope you pick up from here next week, I want to know what they’re doing too.
One suggestion? This may due to staying within the blog hop guidelines but I notice that you have three adverbs in a row in the beginning — impatiently, patiently, and quickly. As a reader, I prefer fewer adverbs and more description. If that was something you did to stay within guidelines, that’s fine, but if not, I really think more description makes scenes stronger.
Looking forward to more from this story.
I really appreciate these kinds of comments, so thank you! Yes, that cluster of adverbs was due to cutting things out to be couture with the rules. So it’s not as bad as the original, but I’ve looked it over and made even more appropriate changes so it flows better. 🙂
Oh come on! Terrorizing peasants never gets old! Er, sorry, I’m clearly still in evil mode. 🙂 Great snippet- see how carried-away I got?
I did! And I wouldn’t have it any other way. 😉
Will be interesting to understand their plan a bit better, for sure. Enjoyed the excerpt, intriguing moment!
So glad to find you thanks to WeWriWa! Enjoyed this snippet and look forward to finding out more about what’s going on. I’ll be back next Sunday for sure! 🙂
WeWriWa is just a great community to learn about other writers! Thanks for finding me, and I can’t wait to read your snippet, too!
It certainly begs the question of what they’re going to do if they’re NOT going to terrorize villagers, lol! Great snippet 😀
Hmm. Are the soldiers up to no good, or are they good guys? Could go either way at this point.
Great snippet! I wonder what they’ll do next…