Wit & Travesty

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How I Make Social Media Work for My Mental Health

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make social media work for mental health via wit and travesty

I honestly cringe when I hear people blame social media for their negative self-talk. Mainly because they come to the polarizing conclusion that social media is 100% bad and they log off for good. Funny enough, I enjoy social media—warts and all—because there are still countless positive and funny people that still use social media to keep others informed, encourage deep conversation, and flip off the haters. Not only that, but I use social media for this website as well as my full-time job.

Seriously, if all the good people left the internet/social media, then yes it would be 100% dumpster fire. But we’re still out here sharing the memes and celebrating the good stuff about life.

Anyway, I have a problem with the “all or nothing” mentality people have with social media. I hold the opinion that if you carefully curate your social media and have realistic expectations, you can do your mental health a favor.

If you’re on the fence about social media because of the toxicity, here are some ways I use social media to improve my mental health rather than let it destroy my well-being.

Know your Own Strengths & Weaknesses

I know people like to use the word “triggering” to make fun of Millennials but let’s ignore the haters for a spell. Yes, there are things that really mess with your self-esteem. Some accounts are too curated with perfect bodies, people who never seem to stop vacationing, or other people living your dreams. Basically, learn what triggers you and avoid those things. Maybe it’s a whole platform or certain accounts.

Also, I totally get it if you see your social media as a time-suck. So if you’re getting the feeling that it’s time to have a phone detox or limit your daily use, go for it! I think you’ll feel better for setting your own limits so you don’t feel guilty about how and why you use social media.

But I also know that many of you use social media to promote yourself or you use it for work. Kinda hard to go dark if you’re doing self-marketing, right? In that case, consider

  • scheduling important posts in batches
  • post less frequently on your socials
  • get analytics up and running to quit strategies that aren’t working for you
  • create more “real you” posts to share life behind the scenes
  • learn about the recent trends and ditch older ones
  • use social media to be kind and real

Tap into your strengths and weaknesses to take care of yourself—today. Write out your social media strengths and weaknesses until it’s clear what you can and can’t handle. Then, do the brave thing and make the changes you need. It won’t always feel this bad, I promise. Learning to pivot in favor of your mental health is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

Encourage Others to Break the Stigma With You

Nothing is really private anymore—no, not just because Facebook knows too much about you.

I mainly mean that the internet provides that paradox feeling super okay with vulnerability even though you may not know your followers super well. I’ve been very blunt and raw about some of the stuff I’m going through and it amazes me how kind and caring you have been towards me. You could say that the more open I’ve been about my writing and mental health adventures, the more I feel like I belong in my communities.

I’m an extrovert, a talker, and a deep-feeling person, so it makes sense to me to publish and share deep personal thoughts with others. I do it in the hopes that others will share their experiences, too. Or, I hope they’ll realize they’re not alone, either.

If you feel like the internet is a pretty yucky place, stand up and share your truth. Then, coax your online and/or real friends to shine their light on what their lives are really like. It’s healing and it combats the garbage trolls that seek to tear the good ones down. When someone shares something meaningful or inspiring, I try to let them know publicly or privately. We need all the encouragement we can get out here.

Keep IRL Friends Close

Even though I have a lot of online friends, I feel much better about myself when I’m enriching the close friendships I already have. It’s usually when I’m feeling my crummiest that I reach out to my local friends to do something fun and relaxing. Usually it ends up enjoying good food and venting to each other.

A lot of social media negativity often stems for our need for validation. It’s not something that needs a one-and-done certificate or affirmation. Every human being needs a constant flow of validation—and it’s okay to want or need it. Unfortunately, we don’t really get what we need from social media. Or, maybe we do get validation but it leads us to constantly post to keep that flame of self-worth a-glow. A true friend in my book is someone who doesn’t want to see you remain miserable, but will put in the time and effort to see you through until your mental health is in a better place.

So if it’s been a while since you’ve hung out with your besties or you feel like you don’t have close friends to meet with, I’d recommend tackling that first rather than using social media as a crutch.

Follow Other Positive Accounts

One way that I make social media work for me is by filtering out accounts that make me feel worse about myself and surrounding myself with positive people. You might need to go through your social media accounts monthly or quarterly to weed out the voices that don’t serve your mental health.

Below are some suggestions of positive accounts that I pooled from my own social media. Maybe they’ll brighten your accounts whenever you check in.

Blog Posts
Twitter
Facebook
Instagram

This is just a short list, unfortunately. I mean, I know there are thousands of other positive accounts out there to follow. This isn’t meant to be a complete list.

But now I pass the baton to you. I’d love to see your lists of positive influences in your life, and I would love to see you praise these creators for their hard work. There’s nothing more precious than watching friends acknowledge each other’s greatness. It’ll do your mental health wonders to tell at least one person how much they mean to you.

6 Things Editors Want You to Understand

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things editors wish other people understood via wit and travesty

I imagine there are two types of people prepared to read this piece: people who are sick of self-proclaimed Grammar Nazis, and Grammar Nazis about to be called out on their antics. Either way, hello and welcome.

I’ve been editing full-time and on the side for four years now. As I’ve reflected on how much I’ve grown as a writer and editor, I’ve also grown tired of people who think they can publicly correct people on grammar without the same training and background as me and my fellow colleagues.

So I’m putting on my sassy pants and I’m about to drop some major truths that your editing and writing friends wish you learned yesterday. Buckle up, word nerds.

1. Being an Editor Is More than Understanding Grammar Rules

Let’s get this out of the way: being an editor is more than being a human spellchecker. It’s more than being a rule keeper. Okay, I don’t have the Chicago Manual of Style memorized. The main goal of editing is to make the writer look good—plain and simple. Whether you’re working for an author, a company, or whatever, your editor ensures that everyone sounds smart and intelligible.

So why are there so many grammar trolls that opt to play editor just to mock writers? If no one asked you for your opinion or if you’re not being paid for your services, sit down.

When I work with fellow authors, I’m not just an editor—I’m also a cheerleader and a therapist. Writing is difficult. Also, not every person likes to write but many do it anyway for their jobs or classes. So when you get the opportunity to work closely with these writers, they need encouragement and constructive criticism to see the project through. I’m putting emphasis on “constructive.” I think if you’re using grammar rules to be petty or put people down, you’re not an actual editor. Let us do our jobs, okay?

2. We Only Edit When We’re Paid for It

No, I’m not editing your words as they come out of your mouth or whenever I get a work email. I’m a professional, so I edit when there’s a paycheck tied to it. Clear and simple. I seriously did not go to college so I could be a party pooper.

My top pet peeve is when someone is suddenly afraid to talk around me when they hear I’m an editor. Some have literally said things like “I’ll try to clean up my grammar around you” or “I better use fancier words.” Excuse me, I want to be a good friend! Thus, I’m going to use my brain to listen to what you’re trying to say rather than look for mistakes.

Also, fluent speakers understand more about the English language than they realize. Meaning, I will likely always understand what you’re trying to say because we’re two fluent speakers conversing with one another. And I don’t get a high from pointing out errors for free, okay. I’ve already done an unpaid internship, so I charge for my editing services now.

I will tell you this right now: whenever someone chooses to call out grammatical errors online, it’s mostly done by someone who didn’t major in English. They just “have a love for the English language” or something. You also can’t major in editing; you can get a minor or choose an emphasis, but you can’t get a full-on degree in editing. This means that very few people can call themselves editors on a professional front. You can’t just say you’re good at spelling words and call yourself an editor. I paid money to learn my craft and I don’t pretend like I know someone else’s craft.

So here’s the main message for all of you who are insecure about your grammar: a real editor would not drag you online unless you’re a big jerk. If you’re trying to live your life and you make a simple mistake, professional editors will not take the bait; only a troll will.

3. Grammar Errors Are Not a Good Debate Tool

How many times have you made the mistake to read the comment section on social media? And how many times are people picking apart someone’s grammar and using that against the original writer? Errrrr, wrong.

Equating someone’s grasp of grammar with their grasp on the argument is a logical fallacy and frankly, a lazy debate tactic. Imagine if this were someone speaking English as their third language and they conjugate a verb wrong—does that mean they’re stupid? Absolutely not.

Again, real editors have learned proper debate tactics (I took a whole class on this for my minor) and know the better way to debate with people online. And I don’t speak for all editors; we like to play casually and be jerks online, too. But again, the majority of people who mock someone’s argument because they spelled a word wrong are likely not real editors. Just real jerks. Let’s try to get to the meat of the debate and start there, not with the fluffy stuff.

4. You Can Call Out Errors & Still Be Nice

There are still plenty of opportunities to call out grammar—if you care about the writer’s image and well-being. Take this for example: your friend wants to throw a party on Saturday, May 18th 2018. You’ll notice that May 18th of this year is actually a Friday. If you want to go to that party, you’ll likely want to know what date they meant to share. That’s information that does need further clarification, and thus you really should ask them what’s what.

Here’s the thing: personal messaging is still a thing. Write them a personal message, explain the situation, and let them discreetly make the change. Make them look smart. That’s what editors do for a living.

This seriously reminds me of a horrible Facebook status I posted four years ago after I graduated from college. As an English major with a minor in editing. I wrote something like “I graduated today! I’m officially a BYU alumni!” Someone noticed my typo and wrote in the comment section, “You are not an alumni. You’re an alumnus. Congratulations on graduating.”

I was so angry and embarrassed—considering I put on blast that I majored in English and editing. This commenter looked beyond the message I was trying to deliver and embarrassed me over a single/plural noun typo. It puts a whole new spin on one of my favorite quotes, “kindness unwanted is unkindness.”

I learned that day that I wouldn’t do that to someone else, even if it’s a little thing. In the future, I would handle precious cargo: a resume, a novel manuscript, or a thesis. People care about what they write, so I vowed that I would treat other people’s writing with due respect.

5. Don’t Hate on Slang

Something that many non-editors know is the difference between prescriptive and descriptive grammar. Every editor basically picks a side: will they follow the letter of the law or the spirit of the law. If you’re a prescriptivist (like most online grammar trolls), you primarily focus on what is correct or incorrect grammar. If you’re a descriptivist (like me), you understand that English is a fluid, living language, and thus it changes over time.

Grammar rules have actually loosened up a bit within this past decade to match with how we use English today. For example, a descriptivist would not correct someone for saying “Can I use the bathroom?” instead of using “may” because they know good and well what the speaker is saying. Descriptivists tend to study the culture behind slang, trends, and new sentence structure choices, and understand there is a time and place to say whether that is appropriate. With social media blowing up for self-marketing, audiences gravitate towards brands that are casual, real, and transparent—leaving behind stuffy, formal writing styles.

But of course, self-acclaiming editors wouldn’t get all that. They’re stuck on the do’s and don’ts they learned back in elementary school or high school. Since they already think it’s okay to be rude and pretentious online, they wouldn’t know that real writers and editors try to embrace the current norms for what they are: a celebration of language.

So don’t @ me with “why are teens ruining the English language” because it’s not like your generation has some weird grammar and vocab choices. *sips tea*

6.  We Aren’t Always Grammatically Perfect

Friends, I can’t tell you how often correct me on the internet. Why? Because I don’t always closely proofread my tweets, FB posts, or Instagram captions. I give a precursory glance and then I post what I have. Not everything is meant to be a measure of my skills and my grasp of the English language.

As I have already mentioned, public speech deserves to be free and unsensored; you really only need to proofread what is connected to your goods and services or important pieces of information. If I’m sharing a gif, I’m gonna use the slang of the day. Otherwise, I don’t sound like myself.

One of the biggest pet peeves as a writer and an editor is that there are enough people that assume that you never make grammatical mistakes. People, I’m not working 100% of my day, and neither is anyone else. I’m allowed to be sloppy and casual, okay! It’s really ironic with non-writers or non-editors are the ones trying to be pretentious when they call people like me out. Who’s the grammar police now? Who gave you that badge, sir/madam?

Understand that when I’m not in work mode, I am in play mode—just like everyone else. Heed my warning and just don’t poke a writer or editor, period. It gives us permission to thoroughly drag you back.

So there you have it. Here’s the real talk you needed today. If you agree with me, share this with the haters. It’d be my dream come true if you drop a link to this post as a response to a troll. Let my words save you the time, please. If you have more to add or if you disagree, let’s chat in the comments or online.

Editors and writers: I salute you. Don’t let the Muggles get you down.

14 Types of People You Meet as a Writer—Star Wars Edition

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people you meet as writer star wars via wit and travesty

Hey writing friends!

What would happen if the Star Was trilogies were actually allegories for the writing process? Wonder no more! In our efforts to motivate ourselves to write novels and get them published, we’ve highlighted some characters from Star Wars and how they translate to people we meet in our writing experiences. We’d love to hear about the people in your life that have helped you get to where you are today.

Yoda—Your realistic but trolling mentor.

They’re highly experienced at writing and get to write Star Wars canon novels whether or not you like them. Their methods are a bit off the wall but they’re self-assured on what they want to write and how they want to pass on what they have learned. So probably Chuck Wendig? Probably Chuck Wendig.

Luke Skywalker—The bestselling wonder that made fiction cool.

Back in the day, fiction/fantasy was too nerdy for the average reader. Then comes the Lukes in your life who make fantasy writing a career and becomes a legend practically overnight. They also grew up with people who thought that English majors can’t support a family, so there’s that.

Rey—The sensational new writer that came out of nowhere.

Literally coming from nowhere, the Rey writers are super humble but also wicked clever. They’re writing new fiction that supersedes all tried and true plots and genres. They have so much potential—they just need a literary agent to help show them their place in the publishing world. They’re also super adorable and share uplifting quotes on Instagram.

Kylo Ren—A bit of a self-publishing maniac.

As much as they want to get rid of the pressure to go traditional, they’re not very realistic about modern self-promo tactics. Like, they want to make a lot of money without putting in the work of joining a community, creating ads, or determining their target audience. They might get kind of self-righteous and think they know more about publishing than you do.

Finn—The non-white portion of the writing community.

I mean, there was already one black Jedi in the prequels, so we don’t need anymore, right? Snark aside, the Finns in your life just want to write and publish, but work twice as hard to stand out from the white army of aspiring authors. All the puns intended.

Poe—Published authors who are still super chill with the community.

The Poe Hot Damerons in your life are super well-liked by other writers, traditionally published or otherwise. They lead podcasts, freebies, seminars, and Facebook live videos to ensure other writers make their dreams come true, too. They really have to social media thing down and writers constantly ask them for advice.

Ahsoka Tano—Your writing role model who hasn’t published in a while.

Ahsoka Tanos were the shit back in their day—but life happens! They’ve gone years or decades without putting anything out. They still attend conventions, geek out about books, and revel in the good days. With enough encouragement, they write something new that taps into your childhood nostalgia but reminds you why you liked their stuff more when you were a kid.

Han Solo—Realistic but supportive freelance editors.

A Han Solo is likely a freelance editor who just edits but doesn’t really write themselves. They hang out with and work with enough writers to know publishing trends. Don’t get cocky around these freelancers; they may seem like they’re in it for the money but they’re here to help you however they can.

Leia Organa—The female writers who paved the way for future female writers.

They dug through misogynistic filth to get published back in the day. They still get political and put people in their place on Twitter, but now they lead armies of young writers to break the mold and tell their stories.

Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader—One of the first writers who were sick and tired of traditional publishing and self published.

They publish what they want to write, not what their literary agents thinks is marketable. They have a point but they’re just as zealous as hard-core traditional writers. His self-published bestselling son will mend his heart someday.

Darth Maul—writers who prefer to stick with stable writing jobs.

They’d prefer to write online nonfiction copy, AKA have a stable writing career. However, the desire to write novels puts them at odds with what they’ve been taught about pursuing stable work. You could say Mauls are a bit split down the middle on the issue.

Padme Amidala—Loyal and overshadowed writing group members.

The Padmes were the princesses of your old writing groups. They always turned in their chapters on time, left meaningful feedback, and had a firm grasp on storytelling. However, their zealous team members either copied them or convinced them that publishing wasn’t them for them. They ended up becoming editors instead but could still write good stuff if they felt ready.

Obi-Wan Kenobi—Very talented traditionally published authors of the past.

They keep coming to conventions and encourage younger writers to pursue their dreams. Even though their sass levels are off the charts, they’re not really open to the new social media aspect of promoting books. They have a Twitter because their agent made them get one.

Rose Tico—The insanely popular fan fiction writer.

The Rose Ticos in your life are those kinds of writers that get their start as popular fan fiction writers. She says she’s not a writer, but she has a true fan base that will put yours to shame. She’s super nice about it until you trash talk her OTPs.

 

Hope you enjoyed this brief writing break! It was really hard to narrow down such a huge character list, so comment below with your own Star Wars additions.

TESTIMONIALS

Whitney helped me with two short projects written for children, and she was very pleasant to work with. She has an eye for detail, helping me with small grammar errors as well as insights about adding scenes that would enhance my story. Her turnaround time was extremely quick, which I really appreciated when on a deadline!
Brittany Olsen
I won a contest via Wit & Travesty in the summer of 2017. The prize was a professional edit of the first 100 pages of a WIP. My middle grade fantasy was only 90 pages, so she read the entire manuscript. She was communicative and positive about the project. Her edits markedly polished up my manuscript and were easy to understand.
Rachel Barnard
Whitney McGruder has created a vast and imaginative world in Destiny Seeker with surprises to delight the reader at every turn. Readers can settle in to devour the diverse and ingenious magic Destiny Seeker has to offer. I highly recommend it.
Jessica Frazier
Whitney did a copy-edit on my third novel, Checkmate. She was a pleasure to work with, and helped me give my novel that final polish that it needed before publication. Put her on your list for editors that help your work shine!
Angelika Offenwanger
Whitney and I worked together in a writing feedback group some years ago and have remained in touch since then. From the beginning, I was struck by her absolute responsibility as an editor. Even in the capacity of a group member, not even being employed or contracted by me to edit my work, Whitney was unerringly punctual, thorough, and accurate with her feedback. Her advice is genuinely insightful and I believe the marketability of my work was noticeably increased due to her guidance. I so value her skills that I still turn to her as a resource after three years of working with her in-person have passed.
Jonathan Baker
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