5 Tips for Taking Care of Your Mental Health

January 23, 2018 · 10 Comments

Hello, friends! I want to talk about mental health today—specifically if you’re a writer. It’s important! I spent a good deal of 2017 trying to figure out why I was stressed and how I could tone it down, and I discovered that I wasn’t taking care of my mental health, or honoring my mental bandwidth to do all the things.

I was inspired to write this post after a particularly powerful podcast episode on the Write Now Podcast called “How to Rest as a Writer.” I realized that if I listed out things I was frustrated with, a good portion of it dealt with things like maintaining my social media and writing goals. Basically, things no one asked me to do, but I work myself to the bone, anyway.

So after some soul searching—which takes a ton of time, believe it or not—I started working on these following tips. This is advice I’ve given myself and I’m sharing them now with you. Please note that I’m not a parent nor am I a college student, so I know some of these things seem really far-fetched. But I promise if you tailor these tips to your current season of life, you’ll be taking better care of your mental health.

Honor Your Pace

One of the hardest things about seeing everyone’s 2018 resolutions or posts was the overwhelming desire to copy all those good ideas. Some writers are extremely ambitious about what they want to read, write, or publish. And I wanted to be just like them. Even though I’m already busy.

So I decided to only set goals that are within your power to accomplish. We’re all busy in one way or another, so we can’t copy someone else’s dreams and assume we can do it.

Remember what you want to do and how you plan to do it—and it doesn’t have to match what your favorite author or mentor is doing. Regardless of how much you do or don’t do, you’re doing the best you can. You’re still living the dream.

Stop Doing Things for Free

If you do anything in this world that involves writing, art, music, or design, chances are that there are many opportunities to do a lot of quality work for free in order to amass “exposure.” I used to have this mindset that all of these types of jobs or services would add up in my karma piggy bank. However, there’s nothing more stressful than feeling like you have to do something for free.

I used to feel this way about being an ARC reader. Because I believe so much in book reviews, supporting local authors, and being the kind of readers I want to attract, I would feel unnecessarily pressured to read a book and publish a review in a relatively short amount of time.

A book review meant a free book, which also meant blog content, which meant more fans and friends for me. I realized the stress wasn’t worth it. So, I decided I would volunteer to read books I was truly passionate about or if I had the time.

Free yourself of this need to add up good vibes or karma. Instead, do stuff with a price tag. As they say on the internet, “Know your worth, then add tax.”

Relish Hobbies that Aren’t Writing Related

It has been really helpful for me to do literally anything else besides reading, writing, or editing. No, social media doesn’t count here. I do things like lift weights, play Pokemon Go, watch movies, sleep, play Just Dance, cross stitch, spend time with good friends, and bake. There are probably many more things that you can think of that count as an “escape” from your writing.

I don’t believe we’re just writers. We’re more multi-faceted than that. As I’ve experienced, when I tap into other unrelated hobbies or interests, I feel more complete as a person and I am convinced it makes me a better writer.

The point of mental health is to do necessary activities—on a weekly or daily basis—to give you relief from activities that give you anxiety, depression, or stress. I love to write and I love to edit, but it can strain my creative energy if I’m writing all the time, not taking a break, and not rewarding myself for the progress I make.

So this year, I’d encourage you to indulge in activities you already enjoy. Or learn new things! I guarantee that you will feel less burned out about your writing projects and goals if you switch things up every once and a while.

Be Okay with Taking a Break

In 2017, I took a “break,” if I put it mildly. This doesn’t seem real, because I was still online, still promoting myself, and still participating in all the NaNoWriMo. If you look back on some of my old Let’s Get Real posts, I was real about feeling upset over politics, struggling with impostor syndrome, and general frustration with my writing goals. Up until October, I wasn’t really “writing”—I wasn’t working on a novel.

It felt like a waste of time to beat myself up over not writing. And so I pass this on to you: degrading yourself as a writer and a person will not get you to write a book. You will not write a quality book if you loathe yourself.

So I gave myself a break. I didn’t write beyond my journal entries, book reviews, and blog posts. But I wasn’t writing a ton of stuff every day.
Once October rolled around, I was jazzed about a new novel concept, and I ran with it. And I ended up writing the whole draft by the end of the year. That is literally a feat that I haven’t accomplished ever.

Maybe it’s a stretch, but I believe that taking a break—taking that pressure off my own shoulders—helped me improve my relationship with my writing and my writing habits.

If you just aren’t into your current project, maybe you need a shift. Maybe a new project or new genre will jump-start your creativity again. Ironically, you can write out your feelings to determine what exactly is bothering you and you might figure out what you need a break from and how to move forward.

Lean on the Community

I know this is a double-edged sword, because the more you look at your “competition” online, you might rationalize that their social media brands are cooler than yours, they’re writing more than you, they’re getting more freelance clients, or otherwise living the dream—maybe your dream.

Lately, I’ve been “scrolling with intention,” or reading more captions, rather than giving a like and moving on. I’ve realized that other people are giving out similar SOS calls for help. For example, I saw a cute picture of three succulent plants in cute matching pots. The person who posted the photo (and made the pots) said they were closing their shop to focus on their mental health. And she got a flood of positive vibes from other people who slowed down to read and respond.

Both sides of that situation count as leaning on the community. The shop owner was open, raw, and honest about her current situation. As the onlooker, I felt empathy for her. I know what it’s like to put things on hold for my mental health—how guilty she might feel even though she knows it’s for the best.

We hate to say “things are going bad for me.” It’s not fun to say “I’m failing and I hate myself.” But we all feel that way. Consider how you can ask for help, and consider how you can be that help.

You’re Doing Great, Sweetie

That’s enough for today! I hope this helped you somewhat with whatever is on your mind. Discomfort is a sign that things have to change. It’s a sign that you’re ready to grow or you need to pivot so you can reach your goals. It sucks, but we all feel it at one point or another.

If you want to read my other posts related to mental health, click on any of the following titles:

How do you take care of your mental health? Which of these tips will you try out in 2018? Did I leave out any suggestions? Share your thoughts (because I’m all about receiving great advice) in the comments or on the socials!

8 Podcasts to Soothe Creatives & Pump Up Positive Vibes—Part 4

December 6, 2017 · Leave a Comment

It only feels right to share more podcasts with you, and I’ve found a new batch of podcasts for you. I truly believe that listening to a myriad of voices will help you really understand the world around you, so I hope you give some of these a try.

If you’re ready for part four, then read on. Bet you didn’t think I’d create four posts about podcasts, huh? If you’re curious about my other recommendations, you can check out part one, part two, and part three. Have you found any new recent podcast gems? As always, we’re all ears in the comment section!

Feel-Good Podcasts on Life & Creativity

The Roommates: Hafeez, Chris and Sam talk together about becoming an adult, understanding the world around you, and how to find inspiration in every situation. They’re not afraid to talk about their Christian faith and how it helps them love others around them, succeed in the workplace, and overcome life’s trials. Their guests are always mind-blowing and the guys in general are hilarious and real.

Straight & Curly: Carly and Kelly are two gal pals that tackle a whole slew of issues and share a list of tips each episode on how to improve yourself and enjoy life to the fullest. I love how brutally honest they are about their experiences and how they’ve handled it.

Podcasts for Writers

Feminist Folklore: This is one of my latest favorite podcasts. Mainly because Rachel and Carlea cover a wide range of fairy tales and folklore from all over the world. I love fairy tales, I love feminism—so I love listening to their feminist interpretation of each tale. They share the earliest or truest version of the tale and then both hosts give their insights on what the tale teaches men and women about gender roles. They cover stories where men and women are good and bad, so it’s not a man-bashing podcast. If you want to hear about fairy tales from all over the world with a helping of feminism interpretation, then listen to these lovely ladies.

Fictional: If you’re into storytelling podcasts like Myths and Legends, then here’s another one for your arsenal. The host, Jason, retells fiction and sci-fi novels and other classic literature. Recently, he shared “The Call of Cthulhu” by H.P. Lovecraft and boy was that suspenseful and creepy. This podcast is often family friendly with plenty of warnings before he begins if there’s any extra violence or triggery topics.

Podcasts for Politics/Feminism

Chicks Who Give a Hoot: This podcast highlights and supports women who want to get involved in advocacy and philanthropy. If you want to make a positive difference in the world or your backyard, you can learn from the examples from their guests on how they found their passion and did something. Rather than addressing specific political points, this podcast focuses on feeling empowered to learn more and do more.

Deviant Women Podcast: Alicia and Lauren highlight women in history and their contributions. You won’t find any docile or well-behaved women on this podcast. These women weren’t afraid to be different, loud, or radical. They address figures from history, mythology, and fiction.

Pod Save the People: This podcast is part of the Crooked Media family and hosted by organizer and activist DeRay Mckesson. If you’d like a very professional viewpoint on culture, social justice, and politics, then you need to be paying attention to DeRay’s analysis. He explores the history of how we got to this point and provides a crucial viewpoint as an African American. My mind has been blown because I feel like he and other activists know a lot that the general public doesn’t. Once you learn the background, stick around for action items of how to respond to frustrating and surprising current events.

Call Your Girlfriend: Ann and Aminatou are two long-distance friends that chat each week about the media, pop culture, the news, and feminism. They build up other female creators that are living their best life. One of my favorite episodes involved an interview with Hillary Clinton about her book—that was an incredible episode. I like this podcast because while they’re talking about heavy news stories, they manage to still brighten my day by keeping me informed and hopeful.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this batch of podcast recommendations. If you want to see all the recommendations so far, here’s all the previous posts:

Have you come across any new ones you’d like to recommend back? Share with us in the comments or on our social media!

How to Up Your Nerd Fashion & Where to Find Your Gear

November 27, 2017 · 4 Comments

One of the best things about 2016 and 2017 was the influx of nerdy clothing that found its way into my closet. Seriously, my sense of style blossomed to the point where I have just about all of my fandoms covered.

A lot of people have asked me where I’ve gotten some of these shirts or skater dresses, so I thought it would be fun to highlight some of my favorites. I found a lot of goodies via Instagram, which has helped me find and connect with indie shops that deserve all the love in the world.

So I’ll share two main things: how I incorporate nerdy fashion into my work attire and where I find a lot of these indie shops. I hope you’ll feel more confident in dressing the way you like in all kinds of settings and you find options out there that fit your size and fashion sense. Let’s get started!

Also: I’m not being paid for any of this. I’m sharing my tips and my favorite shops out of fan loyalty and nothing more.

Tips for Dressing Nerdy at Work

Keep Words Clean: Sometimes a nerd shirt will have words on them. If you’re in a work environment, you want to ensure the words are clean, not suggestive, and otherwise work-appropriate. It’s a simple thing, but you don’t want to garnish any extra complaints about your shirt. For example, I like to wear feminism shirts, but I keep the “sassy” ones for non-work outfits. Since you shouldn’t mix politics with work, I try to anticipate any potential issues.

Opt for Minimal/Discrete Details: Nerd shirts used to have a huge face plastered on the front. Now, lots of retailers are adding small details to the hems or collars that only fans would recognize. This is an easy way to sneak in some nerd stuff without drawing too much attention to your attire. If you have to wear something slightly more formal to work, you can go for the minimal route.

Wear One Nerdy Thing at a Time: When you dress for work, you probably can’t dress like you’re going to comic con–wearing fandom stuff from head to toe. Doesn’t quite fly in the office! That’s why I’d suggest wearing one nerd thing at a time. So if you have a fun nerd t-shirt, wear normal pants, shoes, and sweater.

Check Your Dress Code: It goes without saying that you should check with your boss, HR department, or employee handbook. Not only will you ensure you’re following the rules, but you’ll feel more comfortable. It can sometimes feel like you stick out too much (not in a good way) if you’re testing the boundaries.

Use What You Already Have: Sometimes something outright nerdy is out of the question. You can still get creative! Imagine your favorite character wearing modern clothes. How would that translate? For example, if I wanted to emulate Wonder Woman, I would wear blue pants or skirt, a red shirt, and gold colored accessories. People do this at Disneyworld all the time, called “Disney bounding.” Look this up on Pinterest or Instagram and you’ll get ton of ideas.

Where Do You Find Great Fan Clothing?

I have SO many recommendations for you. To help you find what you’re looking for, I’ve got a brief description here of what you can expect from each shop.

Geek Girl Gang: They’ve got a great selection for cosplay and comic con fans alike.
Her Universe: This shop creates dresses, jackets, and shirts to emulate beloved characters. This is one of my top recommendations. You can find discrete fashion, half-cosplay items to full on costumes. They have sizes for children up to plus sizes.
For Fans by Fans: Here, you can find more obscure fandom favorites for guys and girls.
Elhoffer Design: If you’re looking for top quality dresses, tunics, and sweaters, you will love this shop. Her Star Wars and Hamilton stuff is especially breathtaking.
Torrid: If you’re looking for flexible sizing, Torrid only provides plus-sized fashion. They have a subset of nerdy clothing, in addition to normal clothing categories. Remember, you don’t have to be a straight size to rock your fandom!
Jordandene: This shop provides tees and tanks strictly with quotes from just about every fandom. The text is in a beautiful script that gives it a subtle fan look.
Look Human: If you’re a fan of something, you’ll find a fun top that portrays it.
Hello Holiday: Here’s a classy suggestion if you’re into girl power and feminism.
TeeSpring: Another resource for fan tees.
The Twirlings: Here’s a small shop that shares beautiful tees for all you bookworms.
Hot Topic: I’m sure most of you know of Hot Topic. They’ve really stepped up their fan gear game, so check out their content that will cover you from head to foot.
Colorful Geekiness: Another print tee shop with great fandom quotes.
TinyGeekShop: Another print tee shop option.
GeekyU: Yet another print tee shop.
ThinkGeek: Not only will you find nerdy shirts and jackets, you’ll find home décor, furniture, kitchenware, and toys.
Loungefly: This online shop sells only accessories: bags, jewelry, wallets, and more.

These are just a few options. I’ll be updating this list as I discover more. I hope you find a shop that you truly love! Remember to tag them in your photos if you ever show off your fashion on social media. It’ll help other people like you and me to find them.

nerd fashion via wit and travesty — “Nevertheless She Persisted” tee from Jordandene.

That’s enough for now! I hope you’ve enjoyed this awesome post. I love bragging about shops I adore and helping people like you feel confident. If you want to join in the fun, you can see all my outfit ideas through the hashtag #WhatEditorsWear on Instagram, or you can see my wish list via my Pinterest board, Geek & Fashion Things.

What kinds of fashion tips will you try? What kind of nerd gear do you love shopping for? I’d love to hear about your style in the comments below or on social media!

« Previous Page