WRITER'S LIFE ADVICE Archives

13 Ways You Can Be Better Informed on Just About Anything

August 9, 2019 · 1 Comment

Whether you follow me online or not, you’ll soon learn that I am passionate about human rights issues. Well, I’m passionate about solving these issues. I have a lot to share because writing is my ultimate outlet for discerning my feelings about anything. I often share what I’ve discovered because I believe my voice holds value.

And I believe your voice is important, too. Even if you’re out here to sell stuff on Etsy, you want to find a job, or you’re a stay-at-home parent.

You don’t have to be a legislator to have an important voice and use it. If you’re a citizen, you get to have a voice.

But with all the information we can access on our phones, it’s become really difficult to discern fact from “alternative fact.” So whether you’re new to this or you consider yourself a lifelong learner, here are some guidelines I use to formulate my own opinions, interact with other people, and ultimately seek for solutions to life’s many problems.

1. Get your news from multiple reliable resources.

Twitter, Reddit, and Facebook are good places to know that something has happened but it should not be your final destination. Reliable websites should share information as-is without a spin or ulterior motive. Here are just a few helpful websites:

2. Value primary resources.

A primary resource is essentially a person speaking strictly for themselves or giving an account of their own experience. A secondary resource is someone’s interpretation of the events or a person’s character.

You must scrutinize secondary resources to ensure their intentions are pure and ethical. For example, if I want to know what the Democratic Party stands for, I would talk to the average Democrat; I would not talk to a Republican or Independent—especially an individual who strongly disagrees with Democrats. The same goes for any person or organization.

Even if you don’t like certain groups or individuals, your position or argument is stronger if you at least understand how they describe themselves first without anyone’s spin on it.

3. Avoid resources with biased language.

A news article should be able to clearly get right to the point. The moment they use euphemisms, slurs, nicknames, or any other indication of bias, this resource might not be good enough.

4. Back up your claim or perspective with multiple sources.

If you can find at least three good resources that confirm a fact (and they also have resources to support their claims), then you can likely trust what they’re saying.

5. Diversify your following.

As you know, the US is made of many different kinds of people. You’re more likely to find and read more primary resources if you follow many different kinds of people.

I’d recommend following journalists, LGBTQT+ folks, people of other faiths, people of different races, scientists, all kinds of religious leaders, atheists, activists, folks with all kinds of disabilities, poor people, parents, local politicians, and more. Let these people speak for themselves rather than let other groups speak for them.

You’re essentially gathering experiences and perspectives that could qualify as primary resources.

6. Ask questions and come ready to learn.

If you approach your social media use with meekness and humility, you will attract people who will want to help you understand a topic or debate. Ask them for resources to read on your own time.

Social media can and should be a place where we exchange information, ideas, and experiences. It does not have to be hostile. Feel free to stop a conversation if it becomes less of an exchange of ideas and more of an exchange of personal attacks.

7. Analyze the true intention.

Even if someone has a blue check next to their name, it doesn’t mean they are always a good resource. How do you feel when you interact with them? The main difference is what the person wants you to feel or how they want you to react. Are they purposefully using triggering, divisive, or pessimistic language? Do they want you to distrust or hate other groups of people? Or, do they want you to find common ground, use your agency to help your community, or see you as a valuable human being?

Note: some people use blunt language that may hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable. This is common but just because someone is yelling doesn’t mean they’re mean. I’d recommend looking up the term tone policing to ensure you look past the tone and analyze the argument.

8. Be willing to unlearn some things.

It’s hard to unlearn things you have learned but it just means you have an opportunity to grow. As a human being, you are allowed to change your mind or shift your worldview as many times as you want. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or you’re wishy-washy.

We believe in growth and change. It may mean giving up false information or assumptions. It’s not a fun process but it means that you will be perceptive to more factual information and you will likely be more exposed to viable solutions.

An example would be wondering how to celebrate Columbus Day or Thanksgiving after truly learning about the mass genocide of Native Americans. It’s certainly not fun to realize that Columbus did a lot of terrible, immoral things. Many states choose to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day instead; this is an appropriate way to unlearn some things and grow from it.

Some of these things you’ll unlearn will be stereotypes or assumptions that you learned from people close to you. Even if these people are good and honorable, they will not be experts on someone else’s experiences. Letting things go means believing primary sources and giving more scrutiny to other types of sources.

9. Set healthy boundaries.

Part of being open to all kinds of viewpoints means setting boundaries. Otherwise, it’ll feel like drinking from a firehose. It can be detrimental to your mental health if you’re exposed to the news 24/7. Commit to an hour of research a day, for example. If you find harmful resources, block them or unfollow them so you spend your time reading neutral, constructive information.

Also, don’t engage with every person online. There are accounts and bots whose sole purpose is to sow seeds of discontent, malice, and hate. They do not deserve your time because they are not interested in meaningful discussion. Their motive is to upset average folks and they “win” when you take the bait and argue with them. They cannot be reasoned with, so spend your energy on folks who want to learn from you.

If you feel strongly about something, it’s not your responsibility to prove to everyone that you are right. It’s more important to know what you believe in your heart no matter what naysayers will say. This will mean bowing out of fruitless arguments and not having the last word. It sucks but you don’t have to “win” every battle to win the war.

10. Value the free press.

The moment we lose the freedom of the press or freedom of speech, we are really in trouble. The press is not perfect because it’s conducted by imperfect people. However, I’d rather see extreme news sources like Breitbart exist rather than no news sources at all. I’d rather see a range of political beliefs than only have government-sanctioned media.

Do not gravitate towards people who say “you can’t believe the news” because it’s very likely that the news is exposing them for who they are and they don’t like it. Besides, if they don’t trust the news, where are they getting their information? Are they journalists who travel all over the country? Did they witness all the various tragedies in this country in-person? It’s unlikely that they are following the other guidelines listed here, so wish them a good day and move on.

11. Refresh yourself on logical fallacies.

Often, people hide behind logical fallacies to protect the information they wish was true. For example, if I met a mean Republican, it would be unfair and untrue for me to say “all Republicans are mean.” It’s unfair because that statement is hyperbolic and a major assumption. I haven’t met every Republican and I didn’t consult any data to make that unfair statement.

Here’s a list of all fallacies. Avoid using them and avoid people who rely on them. You can tell someone is hiding behind a logical fallacy when you repeatedly ask them “why?” to get to the real point. At some point, you’ll expose a bias they don’t want to let go.

A distant cousin of logical fallacies is “whataboutism.” Essentially when someone responds with “Well, what about ___?” they are steering the conversation away. That’s a red herring, which is a type of logical fallacy. Resist the urge to give into that distraction and stick with the issue or topic at hand.

12. Avoid hot takes.

A hot take may remind you of the phrase “hot off the press.” But a hot take is essentially your initial, fresh response to a news headline. We see explosive news stories every day. Follow the other guidelines listed here before solidifying your opinion. We almost always need to wait for more information to avoid claiming something we may regret.

We have instant access to other people’s opinions but that doesn’t mean we have to offer an instant opinion, either. Your analysis of a problem will be more logical if you ponder all the information and calmly form an opinion.

More importantly: if you share a hot take and realize you weren’t completely correct, please share that correction and apologize. We need to see more apologies and humility online. It’s okay to admit that you jumped the gun as long as you establish the real truth, too.

13. Have hope in something.

If you want to be perpetually miserable, then follow pessimistic folks who tout that your vote or voice doesn’t matter. Keep following people who shrug and say that things are too complicated and there’s no real solution. If someone dissuades you from learning or taking action, they likely want you to feel immobilized so they can continue to push their agenda undeterred.

If there is a problem, there is always a solution. There’s always a way out. Some problems are more complicated than others but it’s worth it to try. Part of solving human rights issues is to take steps towards a better future.

Have hope that you can make a difference, even if your actions aren’t public or grandiose. I see it every day—people use their voice and actions to lift up other peoples. You are creating ripples that will affect everyone around you.

I strongly urge you to avoid people who only share information to dim your shine or make you feel insignificant. Who benefits from you being silent? Always ponder the motives behind every statement.

So there you have it! This is my go-to list of guidelines for fearlessly seeking the truth. Do you have more ideas that I should add? What has especially helped you? I’d love to hear your input in the comments or on social media.

Book Review: The Shadow’s Charm

July 22, 2019 · Leave a Comment

book cover of the shadow's charm by petra van der ploeg

Hey, writers and readers!

It’s not a good month without an indie novel or two. Today I’ll be reviewing The Shadow’s Charm (book 3 of the Somnia Series) my dear friend, Petra van der Ploeg.

Check out the review below. I’ll be sharing some thoughts about what I love about this book and why it’s a good read for you.

Rating: 4 stars

Synopsis

He tilted his head as he looked at me. “What is going on inside that pretty little head of yours?” he wondered and then he raised his eyebrows. “Ah, a duality of light and dark. Yes. How sweet is that?”

I raised my chin, looking him straight in the eyes. “You will not bewitch me like last time. I am not the same weakling as I was then.”

He licked his lips as his fingers traced my jawline. “That you are certainly not. You’ve grown stronger. But the duality in you is still there and it’s not in balance yet. I can help you with that.” “How?” “If you give into me, I can show you.”

I shook my head. “You’ll kill me.”

His eyes glistened with delight. “Perhaps,” he whispered as he leaned in, intensifying the magnetic force he had on me. “Perhaps not.”

Sophia’s life is about to take a turn for the worse. Everyone’s leaving her and she’s forced to deal with her inner demons by herself. But there’s one person who’s taken an interest in helping her. Her biological father is a wanted criminal and he has used his powers on her before. But this time seems different and it makes Sophia wonder: can a Shadow Walker really be trusted?

What I Enjoyed

I liked that this book was a mix of reliable and new YA fiction novel ingredients. There is a lot of parts of her world building that made sense to me as a newcomer but I really enjoyed the elements that I haven’t seen before. Her idea of jumping realms and having an “Ideal Realm” was interesting to me. It made me want to read book 2 where she apparently figures out this concept and masters it.

Also, van der Ploeg has a way with describing that “mean voice” we sometimes entertain. Sophia runs into a lot of guilt and shame that triggers some mental health issues and I felt like van der Ploeg really represented that mean voice all too well. Like, Petra are you a mind reader?

What I Didn’t Enjoy

Honestly, the parts of the book that weren’t my favorite were due to the fact that this is book three of the Somnia series and I haven’t taken the chance to read the other two. That’s my bad! But it meant that sometimes I was behind on who could do what. I imagine certain scenes would feel more impactful if I watched Sophia grow and learn with the other characters in the book.

All of this to say, you’ll get through this book and enjoy the story but you’ll be confused by some bits if this is your first brush with this series.

My Final Thoughts

Again, definitely read books one and two to better enjoy this book but it still holds up and tells a great tale on its own. This book is perfect for teen readers who are interested in magic and time/space travel. The book ended in a way where I suspect another book is coming soon, so I look forward to reading the rest of the series.

I hope I shared enough to still pique your curiosity without giving too much away. If you’d like to learn more about Petra van der Ploeg and her work, you can catch up with her via social media:

Do you have thoughts about this book? Share with me in the comments! You can also see all of my other book reviews by checking out the Book Reviews tab.

Chapter Six: Build a Network & Community

June 25, 2019 · 4 Comments

chapter six build a network and community

Hello readers and writers! You are reading chapter six of my upcoming e-book, Finding Your Future Fans. Please enjoy these tips for the writer hoping to master Instagram to find readers and sell some books.

If you set out to create a huge following and sell books all on your own, then I’m not sure many of my tips will actually help you take off. Why? Community is everything. You may miss out on meeting legitimate mentors, friends, and peers if you avoid the hard work that is involved in creating a community.

Let’s look at a quick example. I don’t know much about K-pop music, but I hear raving reviews about BTS. They’ve been known to advocate for positivity, mental health, and inclusion in their songs and beyond. They walk the walk of having passion for certain issues in the world—and this extra work they do makes them more than just talented musicians and dancers. They’ve created one of the most loyal followings on the planet—and that’s how folks like me even learn about this whole genre of music.

Wouldn’t you like to have an amazing following that proudly and willingly talks about your books? Wouldn’t you want someone behind you on those days when writing or marketing are dark and rough?

This chapter will help you learn the basics of creating a strong community or network—whether you want to create a loyal following or you want to work with bookstagrammers, bloggers, or other writers.

Be Genuine

I’m confident that you can tell the difference between someone who wants likes and someone who wants connections. These people often make you feel better—they inspire you, relate to you, and otherwise share something with you.

Genuine interaction is one of the social media trends that I hope is here to stay. Companies large and small are trying to increase transparency and relevancy, and now is the time to join the wave. What does it mean to be genuine? It means to share something about yourself to support or help someone else. That could be writing relevant blog posts, talking about hard things that gives a voice to others, or simply mean what you say.

Based on your last nine photos, how much have you shared recently? As in, how much have you shared about your journey, your real lifestyle, or your brilliant ideas? Don’t wait for people to figure out your story or MO—tell the people what you want to do with Instagram! Whether you want to see more real photos or you want to prove that you have something to say through your writing, you can start attracting folks to your feed by leaving your intentions out in the open. If people are interested, they’ll stay. If not, they don’t fit your target audience and you don’t have to cater to them.

When I think of the genuine authors I follow online, they find their own way to share their author journey while still using the boundaries we talked about in chapter four.

Be Consistent

Basically, consistency means that people can rely on you to share certain content at a certain pace. This doesn’t mean that community starts by posting every day, but you post at a rate that they still hear from you.

Consistency is similar to being genuine in the way that you stick with your voice and you don’t flip flop. A brand is consistent in the types of colors or fonts that they use; they drive their brand casually and consistently to the point that you can recognize them without the company name.

Once you pick your target audience and what you want to share on your feed, all you have to do is keep referring back to these decisions. Community will flock to you if they like what they see and can regularly expect it from you.

Believe in Good Karma

I’m somewhat of a Hufflepuff when it comes to building community. Rather than going for the quickest way to get followers, I prefer building friendships at a slow and steady rate. I’ve started many online connections by commenting on other people’s posts without really expecting anything in return. I just believe that if I comment, share, like, or click the way I want others to do on my platform, I’ll eventually get that in return. Whenever I feel like I’m not getting enough feedback on my posts, I won’t just add it to my stories and passive-aggressively hope people read my mind. Instead, I open the app and go right back to my go-to strategy: comment on as many posts as I can while scrolling. Essentially, you’re demonstrating the behavior you want to see in your space.

Care More About Your Influence—Not the Numbers

Sure, it’s easy to let numbers get to your head. Unfortunately, higher follower counts will not guarantee more book sales or better self-esteem. Instagram’s algorithm has something to do with that, for better or for worse.

I learned this principle after doing a few author follow loops in a row. I’ve met quite a few people through these follow loops, but I often have a sudden increase in followers—not fans. I sure felt pretty good about myself after gaining hundreds of new followers, but I didn’t see any other important numbers go up. Instead, you’ll feel discouraged because you feel like your effort still isn’t catching on with others.

I’m assuming that if you’re reading this book and this chapter specifically, you’re looking for more people to buy and not just a higher follower count. So take this to heart: your follower count is the one number I want you to either ignore or disregard. There are other numbers that better track your growth and we’ll talk about that in chapter twelve.

If you care more about your influence and not so much that one number, you’ll not only enjoy Instagram more, but you’ll be fueled to keep writing and reaching your overall marketing goals. I have a folder on my computer just full of screenshots of nice things people say about me or my book. You’ll know what kind of influence you have on people because they will tell you. It’s like getting a thoughtful card on your birthday or wedding anniversary: people will tell you how your blog posts, your images, or your personality has helped them on their writing journey.

As you’ve probably noticed, this is the long game we’re talking about here. If you wanted to get millions of followers or get the blue check next to your name, I’m not really your girl. But if you want to take part in or create a community that ultimately helps you reach your higher goals, then understand that this will take lots of time. I’ve been on Instagram for five years and it’s taken all this time to figure out what I’m doing. I hope by reading these chapters, you won’t need 5 years to get to where I am, but this kind of growth and self-awareness doesn’t happen overnight.

If you are feeling burned out by lack of engagement, use the other tips in this chapter until you’re in a better place. Sometimes it’s okay to be real and tell folks that you’re struggling. It’s okay to hire professional help to figure out what your feed is missing. It’s also okay to be upset as long as you keep believing that eventually things will get better and it’ll feel like all your hard work is worth it.

Quick Recap:

Community is all about influence—not numbers.
Believe in good karma—put out the content or positive energy you want people to bring to your platform.
People will gather to you when you talk and act like yourself. You don’t need to be someone else online to be “popular.”
Building a community or network will help you enjoy Instagram, help you stick with your writing goals, and create meaningful relationships.

Read the Other Chapters

There you go! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please give me your suggestions of what you’d like to see in future chapters. Or, tell me what I missed in this chapter; did you have more questions? Contact me or comment below. Thanks, friends!